By Julie Morrell, MFT
Don’t pay a therapist to just sit there and just uh-huh you, as important as good listening skills are, pay a therapist to actively help you. An experienced professional therapist is worth their weight in gold, and can & should do something much more for you than a friend can do. Friends have a very important place in our lives, but they are not trained to actively help us with emotional problems. Can you imagine getting help and putting to rest an emotional problem or concern you have had for years? That’s the type of resolution and help you should expect from an experienced therapist who loves their work and can offer you the best of help available.
1) Anxiety problems can stem from a history of not feeling capable of freely speaking up for yourself. Maybe you had a controlling parent, or spouse?
Let’s get to the root of that for you.
2) Jealousy problems? Let’s take a look at your self-esteem and why it’s so low. Could it be that you might have made a decision that people are not trustworthy,
and you become jealous when your partner has conversations with someone else, because others are not to be trusted? This is just one reason why jealousy problems can manifest. And I am not talking about a spouse who might purposefully make you jealous.
3) Depressed? Let’s take a look at how socially isolated you might feel. A root issue for a depression problem is multi-fold, but it can at times stem from a need to protect
yourself from unsafe people and this stance was developed in childhoood, but becomes a habit in adulthood even when you do not need to protect yourself from unsafe people anymore. Of course there tends to be a physiological root to depression at times that might need to be examined as well.
4) Anger problems? Are you quick to anger? If someone is easily triggered and agitated, this often means that whatever emotion was triggered in addition to anger
that this emotion has a historical wound attached to it. Feeling disrespected or abandoned are common emotions attached to anger issues. For example; if you are easily upset by people telling you what to do, you might be easily provoked if someone sounds like they are trying to tell you what to do, creating an over reaction in you, even when it’s not the case. If you feel people are insulting your intelligence, it might be because people did insult you in your past and this created a wound in you that can easily be triggered even if someone is just trying to caution you.
A good therapist can help you heal from any of these emotional and psychological upsets and trauma. A counseling session involves much more than listening, a counseling
session involves a therapist actively helping you recover and heal from these past wounds and upsets, to the point that as time passes, you actually forget what you were upset about it in the first place. When that happens, and you realize you are not as easily upset about current events as you had been in the past, then you will know that the therapy has worked and you have moved into a much better, richer place in your life.
With all the ups and downs of real life, I wish for you a nourishing life as well as true & loyal friendships with people who know you well, enjoy interacting with you,
and truly love you in a way that leaves no doubt about how special you are to them. ~ Julie Morrell, MFT